Thursday, January 12, 2012

Driving 101

I was driving to the store today and pulled out onto the main road and although it was not a drastic move or one of those Mario Andretti type maneuvers to get in front of someone, I had a little flashback in time to when I was learning how to drive.
(Somewhere in the distance I hear the laughter of my parents)

So a few moments from my past popped into my mind, and of course I feel it is my duty to share it with you. (Insert wavy lines and flashbacky music here)

Moment 1-
I was in Driver's Ed class in High School and it was my day to go out driving the Driver's Ed car. You know the cool bad ass 4 door blue sedan that was most likely a Plymouth or Pontiac, with a brake pedal on the passenger side for the teacher to use "just in case".
So I'm doing good, staying in my lane, using my mirrors correctly, kept getting told to watch my speed, I even got kudos for changing lanes and not hitting any of those "turtles". Then we come to a stop and I am waiting for an opening to turn right and I see it. So I gun it and all of a sudden the car stops after an inch and I look at the teacher and he's holding down the brake. I said what I still say to this day, "I totally coulda made that." And while the 2 other students in the back are laughing, my teacher said "yeah I don't think so."

Moment 2-
Riding around with my mom all those years in the passenger seat and hearing her yell "ARSEHOLE" to the other drivers. Those few moments when she would have to break suddenly and her arm flies out in front of me. You know, the "mombelt". The arm they think will save you from flying out of your buckled seat belt through the windshield to your horrific demise. I always asked "Why do you do that?" She always said she couldn't help it and I'd understand when I had kids. I always the smart ass would reply with "Um if we get into an accident I'd much more prefer you kept both hands on the wheel duh"

Moving forward a few years, I am moved away from home and living with my fiance (hee hee such a funny word) and I am driving to work when all of a sudden the jackhole in front of me decides to stop suddenly. Thus causing me to stop suddenly and the purse in my passenger seat flies forward slamming into the dash with such force I actually check for dents later. Then it drops to the floor only after it flips upside down and pours everything out onto the floor as well. And I'm thinking "Dang that mom arm would come in handy hahahaha"

Moment 3-
I am a mom of 2 now. My kids are buckled safely in their carseats in the seat behind me. Latch system in place. Those pups are moving if Hercules himself yanks on them. We are driving down the road when all of a sudden the ARSEHOLE in front of me decides he needs to stop right then and there. So I brake and my right arm flies out to the side of me as if I were holding someone back. Even though there was nothing in the passenger seat, it happened and I understood. The mom arm. I has it now ;)

1 comment:

  1. I have "mom arm" aswell.... but what should I do if the person infront of me drives over the medium between two lanes... tee hee hee